Clean Limericks: This Page Will Prove That Limericks Can Be Clean AND Funny!

Good limericks are bright, brief and hysterical - even clean limericks! The clever rhymes and the unusual twists in the storyline add to the appeal of these little poems. Here are a few of our favorites!

Clean limericks. Smiling leprechan.
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Limericks for Children

These are for the young and young at heart. We include them because ... well... our kids told us to!  Drop us a note and let us know what you think ... or if you have a funny limerick of your own, send it along!

There once was a Martian called Zed
With antennae all over his head.
He sent out a lot
But nobody knew what he said!

There was a young fellow who thought
Very little but thought it a lot.
Then at long last he knew
What he wanted to do,
But before he could start, he forgot.

There was once a great man in Japan
Whose name on Tuesday began,
It lasted through Sunday
Till twilight on Monday
And it sounded like stones in a can.

Limericks About Food

Two of our favorite things - humor and food.  If the following limericks make you hungry, check out our sections on Irish recipes!

There once was a girl named Sam
Who did not eat roast beef and ham
She ate a green apple
Then drank some Snapple
Some say she eats like a lamb.

There once was a cook from New York,
Who said you should always stew pork,
He said he once tried,
To eat it fried,
And claims he would rather chew cork.

Use your fingers and rotate the cob
on some butter, a generous glob
Eat across or around,
But one thing that I've found,
Corn is best when you eat like a slob

Clean Love Limericks

Love is one of the best topics for a limerick, it can be funny or touching and everybody can relate to it!  Here are a couple of examples:

Said the man with a wink of his eye
'But I love you' and then the reply
From the girl, it was heard
'You are truly absurd!
I have only this moment walked by!'

She smiled the day that I met her
and had eyes that said 'love' with four letters
and she carried the day
as I thought of the way
I'd done worse but I've never had better

Contributions From Our Visitors!

With thanks to Donna Vogler...

Kirk and friends case the casino.
Their looks cause expulsion. (how mean-o)
Spock: "Computers! Change settings!
Make successful all bettings!"
Celebration ensues in a beano.

A beano is Brit slang for a celebration or party
or other enjoyable time.

We're grateful to Brittany Sparis for this one!

We were painting the church steeple gray.
When the wind blew our brushes away.
We said to the pastor.
"Oh what a disaster!"
But he simply replied, "Let us... spray!"

One More Clean Limerick, Just for the Heck of it...

A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week!
But I’ll be darned if I know how the hellican?

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