Question: what makes retirement limericks, and limericks in general, such a great way to express your Irish side?
Answer: they bring Irish wit and wisdom to any important occasion!
Please enjoy these great limericks about an important stage in life. And if you would like to see many more examples of limericks for all occasions, our section on Irish limericks is a great place to start!
Never diss old people! Their experiences in life have made them strong, wise and a force to be reckoned with!
These limericks are especially useful when the goal is to make fun of ... er ... honor your favorite retiree:
“‘Beg pardon, your age?’ to a Boston maid
Were the words which the census-man said;
Though hot the day,
In a cold, freezing way,
She gazed on him till he was dead.”
“A rheumatic old man of White Plains,
Who will never stay in when it rains,
Has a home full of drugs,
Kept in little brown jugs -
That's all that he gets for his pains.”
“There was an old maiden from Fife,
Who had never been kissed in her life;
Along came a cat ;
And she said, ‘I'll kiss that!’
But the cat answered, ‘Not on your life!’”
It's not easy to retire these days! These little retirement limericks remind us to keep our chins up even during difficult times...
“Sam’s retirement was lonely and boring
TV soaps left him drowsy and snoring
So he picked up the pace
And entered a race
Now he’s Iron Man Sam with crowds roaring”
“I’m dead broke, Paddy noted one day
His retirement funds frittered away
I need money, he sighed
But it can’t be denied
That a job interferes with my play”
“My retirement fund is on hold,
A fate that I'd never foretold.
Now I watch every penny
'Cause I haven't got many.
Can I have my old sneakers resoled?”
“My retirement fund is on hold
'Cause my stocks declined fifty-fold.
I had used an adviser
So my picks would be wiser
Next time I'll use darts and blindfold!”
“My retirement fund is on hold;
What once was so hot now is cold,
Stocks that used to be stellar
Now dwell in the cellar
So I'd better not ever get old.”
There you will find hundreds of examples of limericks organized into useful categories, so you can be sure to find what you are looking for.
And for even more information, check out our page on Irish Sayings.
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