Retirement Limericks: Send Them Into Their Golden Years With a Little Irish Kick!

Question: what makes retirement limericks, and limericks in general, such a great way to express your Irish side?

Answer: they bring Irish wit and wisdom to any important occasion!

Please enjoy these great limericks about an important stage in life.  And if you would like to see many more examples of limericks for all occasions, our section on Irish limericks is a great place to start!


Retirement Limericks - Leprechan Sliding on Rainbow into Gold

Retirement Limericks About ... Well ... Old People!

Never diss old people! Their experiences in life have made them strong, wise and a force to be reckoned with! 

These limericks are especially useful when the goal is to make fun of ... er ... honor your favorite retiree:


“‘Beg pardon, your age?’ to a Boston maid

Were the words which the census-man said;

Though hot the day,

In a cold, freezing way,

She gazed on him till he was dead.”


“A rheumatic old man of White Plains,

Who will never stay in when it rains,

Has a home full of drugs,

Kept in little brown jugs -

That's all that he gets for his pains.”


“There was an old maiden from Fife,

Who had never been kissed in her life;

Along came a cat ;

And she said, ‘I'll kiss that!’

But the cat answered, ‘Not on your life!’”


Retirement is Hard!

It's not easy to retire these days!  These little retirement limericks remind us to keep our chins up even during difficult times...


“Sam’s retirement was lonely and boring

TV soaps left him drowsy and snoring

So he picked up the pace

And entered a race

Now he’s Iron Man Sam with crowds roaring”


“I’m dead broke, Paddy noted one day

His retirement funds frittered away

I need money, he sighed

But it can’t be denied

That a job interferes with my play”


“My retirement fund is on hold,

A fate that I'd never foretold.

Now I watch every penny

'Cause I haven't got many.

Can I have my old sneakers resoled?”


“My retirement fund is on hold

'Cause my stocks declined fifty-fold.

I had used an adviser

So my picks would be wiser

Next time I'll use darts and blindfold!”


“My retirement fund is on hold;

What once was so hot now is cold,

Stocks that used to be stellar

Now dwell in the cellar

So I'd better not ever get old.”


So What is YOUR Favorite Limerick Poem?

Do you have a favorite limerick or limericks to share?

Impress your friends and raise your social media game by publishing your masterpiece on Irish-Expressions.com.

It's so easy! Just follow the instructions below.

First, think of a great title for your submission and type it here...

Want More Information on Irish Limericks?

We have much, much more to offer!  Continue your exploration of this unique poetic style in our section on Irish limerick poems.

There you will find hundreds of examples of limericks organized into useful categories, so you can be sure to find what you are looking for. 

And for even more information, check out our page on Irish Sayings.

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