Short Irish Jokes:  Easy to Remember, and Oh So Hysterically Irish!

When we tell short Irish jokes, we wrap the full range of Irish humor, wit and wisdom into a few memorable words! And we make people laugh!

These jokes from / about Ireland are special because they are ... well ... short! For those of us with limited memory, but a desire to show our Irish side in a humorous way, these may be just the ticket.

Short Irish Jokes About Drinking

I know ... shocking right? Here is your opportunity to blend two favorite Irish pastimes, drinking and making each other laugh. See what you think of these!

Irish Humor - I Wish You Were Here

Is It Possible?

An Irishman walked out of the bar and …

please, don't interrupt! Yes it is possible!

The Irish Jig

Learning the Irish jig involves two simple steps:

1) serve people a lot of alcohol and

2) make sure that you have locked the bathroom door.

It's A Gift!

"Paddy," said Murphy, "how does it happen that when you drink, you can’t remember people’s names?"

"I don’t know," said Paddy, "it's a gift."

Short Irish Jokes About Men and Women

Many short Irish jokes are about the differences between men and women. They are not always the cleanest, most politically correct, or flattering ... but they are very often the funniest.

Please forgive us in advance ok?  And enjoy!


Question:  Do you know why hurricanes are all named after women?

Answer: When they come, they are wet and wild. When they go, they take your car and house with them.


A woman was in bed with her lover, telling her how stupid her Irish husband was. At that moment, the husband came home.

“What are you two doing?!” he asked.

“Didn’t I tell you that he was stupid?” the wife answered.

Ok, ouch. On behalf of all Irish husbands, I'm a touch offended by that! 

Here's one more for good measure...

Question: Do you know what an Irish husband is?

Answer: A man who has not kissed or touched his wife in 20 years but would kill the man who tries to.

Short Irish Jokes About Religion (Sort of)

Hey we've already crossed the line ... why stop now? Have a look at these short jokes with religious overtones. (Forgive me Father...)

Forgive Me Father, for I Have Sinned...

“Forgive me father for I have sinned,” an Irish girl said. “My boyfriend held my hand twice, kissed me three times and made love to me twice.”

“Daughter! Go home, squeeze seven lemons and drink it straight down,” the priest said.

“Will it help?” she asked.

“No, but it will get that silly smile off your face!”

Sin and Politics

“Father, I have just shot down two British lieutenants and I knocked off a British captain,” O’Donnell said in one breath.

“Father, are you listening? Father, have you fainted?”

“Of course I haven’t fainted, son,” the priest replied. “I am waiting for you to stop talking about politics and start confessing your sins.”

Out of Luck

Finnegan is drunk as usual. He walks into the church and goes straight to the confessional box.

There is silence. The priest waits for Finnegan to start talking. He waits and waits. Finally, the priest pounds on the wall of the confessional box.

“Ain’t no use in knocking,” Finnegan yells back. “There is no paper on this side, either!”

Had enough?  Good! Neither have we!

Sharing Irish sayings is one of the best ways to express our Irish sides! And if you are going to memorize some witty Irish sayings why not go with the humorous kind!

Visit our main section on Irish jokes to take your next step in celebrating Irish culture!

Or click on another link above and let's continue expressing your Irish side at Irish

Want to Receive Updates from Irish Expressions? 
It's Simple ... and Free!

One of the best ways to stay connected with us is Irish Expressions Weekly, our regular summary of what's new and delightful at

Next Sunday, and every Sunday after that, you will receive a fun, informative summary the last week's best community posts, most entertaining free puzzles and games, most beautiful pictures, most delicious recipes, funniest jokes, and much more.

In short you will get loads of ideas about how to express your Irish side, wherever you are in the world!

Simply share your email address with us below, and we'll do the rest!

And never fear... we hate spam too, and we will never share your information with anybody else.  Period.

Please share us with your friends!

You Can Find Irish Expressions Anytime On...

follow me on facebook
follow me on pinterest
follow me on Twitter