Irish Golf Jokes:  Their Uncontrolled Laughter Is Your Secret Weapon!

To truly understand the importance of Irish golf jokes, consider this fact: Golf Digest once identified the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland as two of the countries with the highest number of golf courses per capita.

This is not surprising considering that golf is so embedded in Irish culture, and it shows in our traditions, our landscapes and yes, in our jokes.

Here is a sampling of jokes to help the golf-lovers among us to express our Irish sides!

Hailing From Our List of Favorite Irish Golf Jokes...
And the Earth Moved

Golf is a difficult game to master, and most successful golfers have gone to amazing lengths to perfect their craft.  As seen in this Irish golf joke, many have quite literally moved the earth!

And the Earth Moved

Paddy was frustrated because he has hit numerous fat shots.

In his frustration, he told Murphy, his caddy, “I would move heaven and earth just to make a hundred."

To which Murphy replied, “Try heaven, Paddy. You have already moved most of the earth.”

Put and Putt

As with any sport, mastering the fundamentals requires practice and study. In this Irish golf joke, spelling makes the difference!

Kelly, a schoolteacher, was on her first golf lesson and like any schoolteacher, she was meticulous about spelling words.

“Is it spelled as p-u-t or p-u-t-t?” asks Kelly.

Says the instructor, “It’s p-u-t-t. Put means to place in a specific position. Putt means a failed attempt to do the same thing.”

Don't Stand So Close

Golf should be an easy game: Hit the ball, get it in the hole and score. But it’s not as easy as it sounds especially when you are standing so close to the thing you should be hitting so far.

After hitting the ball with little to no success, Paddy asked his caddy what the problem was with his game.

The caddy answers, “It’s simple, really. You are standing too close to the ball after you whack at it.”

And I Thee Wed

The Irish love weddings as can be seen by their traditional wedding celebrations, toasts and blessings. But nothing compares to the love of a golfer for his or her favorite game.

As the bride walks down the aisle, she observes that her groom has his golf bag and clubs by his side.

She asks, “What is your golf gear doing there?”

He looks deep into her eyes and answers, “This isn’t going to take long, is it honey?”

Clueless Irishman

Tiger Woods drives his luxury BMW into a remote petrol station in the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant, who knows nothing about golf, much less Tiger Woods, greets the golfing legend, “Top of the mornin’ sir”

Tiger says hello and then bends down to pick the nozzle. Two tees fall out of his shirt pocket into the ground.

The attendant asks, “What are those sire?”

Tiger says, “Those are tees, which I use to rest my balls on when I’m driving.”

And the Irishman exclaims, “By Jesus, Mary and Joseph, BMW thinks of everything!”

What's Next?

Thanks for visiting Irish Golf Jokes!  Irreverent humor is an essential part of Irish culture and heritage. Share jokes like these during special occasions to celebrate your personal Irish side!

For more information of this type, you may want to visit our main section on Irish jokes here!

Want More Irish Sayings?

It is probably obvious - at Irish Expressions, we love Irish wit and wisdom!  Learning Irish sayings gives us a deeper sense of connection with Ireland, wherever in the world we happen to be!

We have captured many of our favorite Irish sayings in an e-book called "77 Favorite Irish Sayings."  In it you will find Irish proverbs, jokes, limericks, blessings and quotes on many, many topics!

This fun, free guide is available to you to download.  Simply scroll to the bottom of the page and share your email address for instant access!

ENJOYING IRISH EXPRESSIONS?  PLEASE SHARE US WITH OTHERS!