Funny Retirement Limericks:
Not Older, Just Better!

Question: what makes retirement limericks, and limericks in general, such a great way to express your Irish side? Answer: they bring Irish wit and wisdom to any important occasion!

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Irish Expressions: Retirement Limericks.
Image of Leprechan Sliding on Rainbow into Gold courtesy of Bigstock.com.

Please enjoy these great limericks about an important stage in life. And if you would like to see many more examples of limericks for all occasions, our main section on Irish limericks is a great place to start!

Retirement Limericks About ... Well ... Old People!

Never diss old people! Their experiences in life have made them strong, wise and a force to be reckoned with! These limericks are especially useful when the goal is to make fun of ... er ... honor ... your favorite retiree:

Retirement Limerick #1

“‘Beg pardon, your age?’ to a Boston maid

Were the words which the census-man said;

Though hot the day,

In a cold, freezing way,

She gazed on him till he was dead.”

Retirement Limerick #2

A rheumatic old man of White Plains,

Who will never stay in when it rains,

Has a home full of drugs,

Kept in little brown jugs

That's all that he gets for his pains.

Retirement Limerick #3

There was an old maiden from Fife,

Who had never been kissed in her life

Along came a cat,

And she said, ‘I'll kiss that!’

But the cat answered, ‘Not on your life!’”

Retirement is Hard!

It's not easy to retire these days! These little retirement limericks remind us to keep our chins up even during difficult times..

Retirement Limerick #4

Sam’s retirement was lonely and boring

TV soaps left him drowsy and snoring

So he picked up the pace

And entered a race

Now he’s "Iron Man Sam" - the crowd's roaring!

Retirement Limerick #5

“I’m dead broke," Paddy noted one day

His retirement funds frittered away

I need money, he sighed

But it can’t be denied

That a job interferes with my play

Retirement Limerick #6

My retirement fund is on hold,

A fate that I'd never foretold

Now I watch every penny

'Cause I haven't got many.

Can I have my old sneakers re-soled?

Retirement Limerick #7

My retirement fund is on hold

'Cause my stocks have declined fifty-fold.

I had used an adviser

So my picks would be wiser

Next time I'll use darts and blindfold!

Retirement Limerick #8

My retirement fund is on hold;

What once was so hot now is cold,

Stocks that used to be stellar

Now dwell in the cellar

So I'd better not ever get old!

Want More Irish Sayings?

It is probably obvious - at Irish Expressions, we love Irish wit and wisdom! Knowing the perfect Irish 'thing to say' on any occasion gives us a deeper sense of connection with Ireland, wherever in the world we happen to be!

To help you build your own personal Irish vocabulary, we have over the years created many downloadable, share-able Irish games, puzzles, recipes, songbooks, quizzes, and much, much more.

Want them right now? Keep reading to learn about "Your Irish Expressions Playbook."

More Fun With Irish Expressions:
Your Irish Expressions Playbook

Congratulations on learning more about what we like to call your "Irish Side." You may be thinking "I'd love to actually VISIT Ireland but that's really not in the cards right now. What am I supposed to actually DO with the stuff I just learned?"

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Irish Slang Match Game
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