Funny Retirement Limericks:
Not Older, Just Better!

Question: what makes retirement limericks, and limericks in general, such a great way to express your Irish side? Answer: they bring Irish wit and wisdom to any important occasion!

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Irish Expressions: Retirement Limericks.
Image of Leprechan Sliding on Rainbow into Gold courtesy of Bigstock.com.

Please enjoy these great limericks about an important stage in life. And if you would like to see many more examples of limericks for all occasions, our main section on Irish limericks is a great place to start!

Retirement Limericks About ... Well ... Old People!

Never diss old people! Their experiences in life have made them strong, wise and a force to be reckoned with! These limericks are especially useful when the goal is to make fun of ... er ... honor ... your favorite retiree:

Retirement Limerick #1

“‘Beg pardon, your age?’ to a Boston maid

Were the words which the census-man said;

Though hot the day,

In a cold, freezing way,

She gazed on him till he was dead.”

Retirement Limerick #2

A rheumatic old man of White Plains,

Who will never stay in when it rains,

Has a home full of drugs,

Kept in little brown jugs

That's all that he gets for his pains.

Retirement Limerick #3

There was an old maiden from Fife,

Who had never been kissed in her life

Along came a cat,

And she said, ‘I'll kiss that!’

But the cat answered, ‘Not on your life!’”

Retirement is Hard!

It's not easy to retire these days! These little retirement limericks remind us to keep our chins up even during difficult times..

Retirement Limerick #4

Sam’s retirement was lonely and boring

TV soaps left him drowsy and snoring

So he picked up the pace

And entered a race

Now he’s "Iron Man Sam" - the crowd's roaring!

Retirement Limerick #5

“I’m dead broke," Paddy noted one day

His retirement funds frittered away

I need money, he sighed

But it can’t be denied

That a job interferes with my play

Retirement Limerick #6

My retirement fund is on hold,

A fate that I'd never foretold

Now I watch every penny

'Cause I haven't got many.

Can I have my old sneakers re-soled?

Retirement Limerick #7

My retirement fund is on hold

'Cause my stocks have declined fifty-fold.

I had used an adviser

So my picks would be wiser

Next time I'll use darts and blindfold!

Retirement Limerick #8

My retirement fund is on hold;

What once was so hot now is cold,

Stocks that used to be stellar

Now dwell in the cellar

So I'd better not ever get old!

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