Question: what makes retirement limericks, and limericks in general, such a great way to express your Irish side? Answer: they bring Irish wit and wisdom to any important occasion!
Please enjoy these great limericks about an important stage in life. And if you would like to see many more examples of limericks for all occasions, our main section on Irish limericks is a great place to start!
Never diss old people! Their experiences in life have made them strong, wise and a force to be reckoned with! These limericks are especially useful when the goal is to make fun of ... er ... honor ... your favorite retiree:
“‘Beg pardon, your age?’ to a Boston maid
Were the words which the census-man said;
Though hot the day,
In a cold, freezing way,
She gazed on him till he was dead.”
A rheumatic old man of White Plains,
Who will never stay in when it rains,
Has a home full of drugs,
Kept in little brown jugs
That's all that he gets for his pains.
There was an old maiden from Fife,
Who had never been kissed in her life
Along came a cat,
And she said, ‘I'll kiss that!’
But the cat answered, ‘Not on your life!’”
It's not easy to retire these days! These little retirement limericks remind us to keep our chins up even during difficult times..
Sam’s retirement was lonely and boring
TV soaps left him drowsy and snoring
So he picked up the pace
And entered a race
Now he’s "Iron Man Sam" - the crowd's roaring!
“I’m dead broke," Paddy noted one day
His retirement funds frittered away
I need money, he sighed
But it can’t be denied
That a job interferes with my play
My retirement fund is on hold,
A fate that I'd never foretold
Now I watch every penny
'Cause I haven't got many.
Can I have my old sneakers re-soled?
My retirement fund is on hold
'Cause my stocks have declined fifty-fold.
I had used an adviser
So my picks would be wiser
Next time I'll use darts and blindfold!
My retirement fund is on hold;
What once was so hot now is cold,
Stocks that used to be stellar
Now dwell in the cellar
So I'd better not ever get old!
It is probably obvious - at Irish Expressions, we love Irish wit and wisdom! Learning Irish sayings gives us a deeper sense of connection with Ireland, wherever in the world we happen to be!
We have captured many of our favorite Irish sayings in an e-book called "77 Favorite Irish Sayings." In it you will find Irish proverbs, jokes, limericks, blessings and quotes on many, many topics!
This fun, free guide is available to you to download. Simply scroll to the bottom of the page and share your email address for instant access!
Funny and clever limericks are an essential part of Irish culture and heritage. Share them during special occasions, to celebrate Irish culture and express your personal Irish side!
For more information of this type, you may want to pay a visit to our main section on Irish Sayings here!
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